KevinSauls.com

I ran into a former high school student a few days ago. Harried with her college school work and working full-time to survive, she still looked happy.

Let me tell you a little about her. Mary had been kicked out of her mother’s house at age 15. she had lived with aunt for  few months – until she got tired of having a teenager hanging around, cramping her own lifestyle.

So, Mary bounced from one place to another, sleeping on the floor of one friend’s house, or the couch of another’s. She even spent quite a few nights sleeping in the back seat of her car. In short, Mary had every excuse in the book for dropping out of school.

So, how did she end up in college?

I talked with her about that.

“You remember the Bill Cosby show? The one where he was a doctor and his wife a lawyer? I wanted that dream. And I decided that I was going to do what it took to make that real.”

“But you had an awful lot working against you,” I said.

“Yeah, I know. Probably more than you ever knew about. But there was a couple of things I heard – and I don’t remember where –  that stuck with me.

“One was that I was responsible for how my life turned out. Nobody else would benefit from my successes and nobody else would suffer for my failures more than me. It was about choices. I think you talked about that once, too.”

“Yeah, I probably did, but there are things you don’t have any control over. For example, that your mother kicked you out.”

“Sure, but I am responsible for how I respond to them. Like I said, I could have used all that as an excuse. I’d probably be slinging hamburgers somewhere. Or doing drugs. Or selling myself on a street corner.

“Or, I could choose to look past those problems and work through them and find ways to make things happen. Either way, I’m responsible for how I react to things.”

“What was the other thing?”

“That my future hadn’t been written yet, so I can make it into anything I want.

“In a way it’s the same thing, I guess. Because if I let my history determine my future – you know, make excuses for not trying because of where I’ve been – then I’ll never get where I’m wanting to go. Excuses just get in the way.”

“So you’re saying ‘No Excuses’”?” I asked.

“Absolutely!”

“What you’re saying makes sense. And apparently it’s worked for you, but that can’t be the whole story. After all, you still had to overcome a bunch of stuff to get where you are. For starters, you still had to get the money to go to college.”

“Yeah, that’s the nice thing about the HOPE program. I was able to get some of the money for school from HOPE. I just had to get money to live on then.

“Anyway, I sat down with my counselor to figure out what I needed to do to get here. He had me list it all out. Then he had me list all the obstacles in my way. To be honest, when you start really looking at it, it’s kind of overwhelming.

“But then he had me list ways to over come each of those obstacles. Sometimes it was calling on other people. Sometimes it was something I just had to do myself, you know, research something, fill out a form, that sort of thing. And sometimes when I started really looking at it, it wasn’t a problem at all. It was just that I saw it that way. I just had to change my thinking a little bit.”

We talked on for a few more minutes before she ran off to work but that conversation stuck with me.

Clearly she had very clear and vivid goals in mind. Just as clearly, she had found a way to overcome some pretty daunting obstacles. To be honest, when I first heard of her plight, I was doubtful she’d even finish school. I really did figure she’d either end up in a dead-end job, or working a street corner.

But, I’m proud for her and what she’s accomplished so far. And I know she’ll achieve whatever she sets out to achieve.

How often do we find excuses for not doing things? How often do we let some minor obstacle, perceived or real, stand in the way of achieving our goals?

I know I do, all the time. I don’t have time to do so-and-so, or I don’t have the money and so forth. But, I’m trying to take a lesson from Mary: No excuses.

Maybe, like Mary, we need to develop the clear, vivid images of what our goals look like. Maybe we need to write down our reasons for not accomplishing our goals, then write down ways to overcome them.  And, maybe like Mary, we’ll discover that some of those obstacles are only obstacles in our minds and no where else.

And maybe, like Mary, we can make our dreams and goals become reality.